Same “Stuff”, Different Day

     I was at work this morning and our delivery driver approached the counter. I asked, “How are you this fine morning?”

     “Same stuff, different day,” he replied…though he didn’t say stuff.

     That worn out turn of phrase made me think of an obscure Greek philosopher Heraclitus. At one point he said, “You can never step in the same river twice.”

     The idea is that if you put your foot in the river, pull it out and place it immediately back in the river has changed. The water has moved, the rocks, fish, etc. It means that life is always changing and in a constant state of flux. We either appreciate the change or deny it…it still happens.

     That led me down the road of quantum physics. The idea that each decision creates a different reality and future. Each action has an impact on the world around us that is more far reaching than our minds can process. By placing our foot in the river we have changed that river.

     Then this made me think of how God tells us over and over in the Bible that surrender to him and acceptance of Christ means that he will meet us wherever we are on the road and use the rest of our journey for good.

     See, our perception of our past decisions colors whether we meet God on the road. He could be standing by the road waiting on us to ask him to walk with us. He could even wave his arms in the air and call out our names. We still have to choose to acknowledge him.

     So, we know that everything we do touches and influences everything around us in some way. We also know that our experiences, decisions and paths chosen can be for our growth and wisdom if we allow it.

     The next logical step is that what happens in a given day is more about how we choose to see it and less about the actual event or moment. It’s almost an existential-light view. The idea that we control our reality based on what we decide it to be. It is what we choose it to be but can only be what it was meant to be through God.

     If we learn to see our reflection in the mirror the way he sees us from the other side of eternity we then can fill each day to the brim with promise, potential and purpose. If we hold fast to the perspective of the world and it’s events we end up with “same stuff, different day.”

     So back to that…

     I realized that while the day is most definitely different the “stuff” doesn’t have to be the same. If it is the same then it is because we have decided to see it as such.

 

 

We’re All Apes After All

The concept of seemingly varied and independent ideas and events coming together at a particular moment in time has been fodder for more than one column over the years. I believe this happens to all of us; sometimes we catch it and sometimes we don’t. I have, as of late, found myself once again in just such a moment…again.

                I have been reading a fascinating book by Howard Zinn titled, A People’s History of the United States. This is American history from the perspective of regular folks. The author has his bents for certain. The crux of the book, however, provides evidence to what I have thought for many years. That has to do with controlling the masses.

                Ever heard the phrase “divide and conquer”?

                Phillip II, king of Macedon from 382-336 BC, is largely accepted as the originator of this phrase. He used it to define policy when dealing with the city-states of Greece. The idea is that people divided and focused on the differences between their respective groups are easier to control than a mass of people left to find the natural commonality that comes from having the same creator and basic wants and needs.

                More on that in a minute…

                Last week we rented Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I had expected a film that would give me the back story as to how this planet came to be ruled by apes. It did that but it also did so much more. As I watched I was amazed at the parallels between how the apes in this movie were treated and how slaves were treated in this country early on. I am certain this was no accident by the film’s creator.

                Slavery in America was different than the garden-variety of slavery we experienced as a planet over the centuries. Here it was a demoralizing system of taking away a people’s humanity in order to increase profits. This didn’t just happen to African slaves. This was also the method for Native Americans, Chinese, Irish and a host of other poor in the early US.

                In the aforementioned movie the apes grew in intelligence and ability via a chemical therapy. When it became apparent that the medicine, developed originally for treatment of Alzheimer’s, the company that owned the lab went into full gear. It didn’t matter what it did to the animals. You see, it was about profit.

                It was the same with slavery here. And I suppose this is the real point. It is not to say apes are really the ancestors of humans. I am not saying that animals are people. They aren’t. We were uniquely created by God in His image. But the treatment, abuse, use and ultimate rebellion of the apes in the movie serves as a metaphor for slavery and, on a deeper and broader level, for the way elites have controlled we the huddled masses.

                Now back to Zinn’s book.

                In the book the author makes a compelling case for systematic racism. Hate and mistreatment isn’t some natural thing we as humans do based on obvious differences. It is, rather, something that is taught. Back in the 17^th Century it was taught in pamphlets, churches, schools and around the kitchen table. The various uprisings of blacks, poor whites and Indians was a dangerous threat to those in power.

                The most important part of early America’s economy was slave labor from Africans. Yet they were, at that time, intermarrying with whites at a fairly alarming rate. African slaves would often run away from “civilization” and to the Indian tribes. More often than not they integrated into tribal life, married and never came back. Poor whites did this as well.

                Over time laws were passed to prevent this intermingling. Men of questionable character stood in pulpits on Sunday mornings and claimed it was a sin. They claimed that blacks were cursed from Old Testament story known as the Curse of Ham. Running off to live with Indians was, in some places, punishable by death. If a white were to have a child with a black then the child was considered illegitimate as a marriage of the two was illegal.

                Fast forward to 2011 when Rise of the Planet of the Apes was released.  We have been through slavery, the Civil War, the genocide of the Indians, Jim Crow laws, the Civil Rights Movement and many wars. I still drive through parts of this country and see Confederate flags flying in windows, on cars, etc. Being in the building trades I hear slurs about Mexicans too. Racism hasn’t changed. If anything it’s worse…just underground.

                We are an incredibly divided country. It’s not the fault of any party and I’m not talking about politics either. We are divided by religion, denomination, skin color, neighborhood, political party, sports teams and all the rest. There are thousands of ways to separate ourselves from each other. We use many of them. And, in the end, we use our differences to justify the mistreatment of others…especially if there’s profit in it.

                In the movie the apes, led by one named Caesar, break out and refuse to be tools, test subjects and trash to the humans. They bond together as a single group (there were different types of primates in the group) with a single purpose. It wasn’t death, destruction or revenge. They wanted the freedom that comes from self-determination. They wanted the freedom to choose their own destiny. In short they wanted to be left alone.

                Sounds frightenly similar to another group from long ago…or today.

Pain and Confusion in Youth

This month’s dribble was planned to be about Earth Day. I researched, read, watched lectures and had a pretty good column put together about environmentalism, conservativism and stewardship. Then something happened. A thought came to me that would simply not let me go until I wrote it down. So, we’ll save the talk on the environment for another time.

                There’s a bigger problem today than global warming. It’s more pervasive than this year’s election. It’s also far deeper than where Peyton Manning will play football. That issue is our kids and the pain and confusion they experience on a daily basis.

                To begin I want you to come back with me to 1983. I was a lad of 13 then living in a small town in Indiana. My neighbor got cable TV that summer and we thought we had hit the lottery. We had MTV, HBO, ESPN and other fare that allowed us to watch all kinds of stuff. We saw, heard and lied about doing all kinds of stuff over the next few years.

                In the years that followed there was that “one girl” in school that everyone knew about. There were kids that smoked pot and several that drank beer they stole from their dad. Many smoked cigarettes and a good many boys chewed tobacco. Some had even stolen a Playboy from there dad’s closet and shared it with the rest of us.

                The world was pretty safe too. Reagan was president. The economy was good. The Russians were bad and we were OK. We worried about a nuclear war but deep down we knew the sun would come up another day and all would be fine. It was just simple.

                Today, however, the world our kids face each and every day is quite different. Not only are we in a post 9-11 world where the enemy nation/state has been replaced with terrorist cells, we are also in a world that is largely separated along economic lines. We don’t have idiologies that separate us or bring us together. Instead we have a system of situational ethics that seemed to be defined by share holders more that beliefs.

                In school kids are subjected to a level of teasing that those in my generation can’t possibly understand. Bullying is a buzz word now because it’s everywhere. Kids are absolutely cruel  to one another and it’s not the media hyping a few random events. It truly is everywhere.

                Part of the reason is that standards, ideals and codes are a constantly moving target. We worship fame in this country and surface “perfection.” Look at the sheer number of “reality” shows on TV today. Most of the fools on those shows are famous because they are famous. It’s like Jerry Springer’s show clashed with a sitcom and young people eat it up. And that is ultimately what they shoot for.

                There are also a steady stream of new drugs available. Kids are sophisticated today and know what meds to mix with what to get what effect. In some circles kids all bring various prescription medications from their parents and grandparents bottles to a party. Everyone tosses them in a large bowl and the kids all grab a random handful and take them. It seems the need to escape, self-medicate and fit in all collide in a deadly cocktail.

                Then there’s sex. Every teen thinks about or thought about it. That much is normal. But it has lost almost all meaning for kids today. It’s as recreational as shooting baskets in the driveway and holds about as much meaning. The problem is that perception is an illusion. It does hold meaning and was designed to. The denial is temporary and will eventually surface.

                The thing is kids are now growing up in a world moving at a break-neck pace. There’s too much coming at them all at once. There’s too many choices and not enough direction. They see a world where everything is OK and any behavior is acceptable if it makes you rich, famous or both. As a result kids are confused, scared and stressed.

                I don’t have the answers to all of this today. I probably won’t have them tomorrow either. What I do know is I have three kids at home and worry daily about the direction I am giving them. I worry about what they are exposed to and how fast they are growing up. Like most of us I am a parent doing the best I can. I also know that when I am around kids I coach or teach (as a substitute) I see a lot of kids carrying heavy burdens and pain.

                Perhaps it’s not up to any one of us but all of us to lighten the load, provide direction and, most of all, provide hope.

Management vs. Leadership

 

            Recently I took on a “regular” job. After four years being self-employed I now work for a company. That transition has caused me to think a great deal about management styles. Really, there are only two styles of management. Every other variant falls into one of these two categories. That is, management or leadership.

            Management sees employees as assets. Their labor is a line item on a spread sheet. Many times folks that see management as such employ many different means to get the most production out of these assets. This style of manager may even learn all the motivational management key words and phrases but it is always with the end goal of optimizing asset profitability while minimizing cost.

            If you are this type of manager it may be time to find a new line of work or position within your company. Sound harsh? Well, so is this style of management. It doesn’t account for the multidimensional beings that people are. Any given employee is mind, body, spirit, experiences and so on.

            If you are this type of manager you probably think of your job as controlling the workforce. Sometimes that’s with an overabundance of rules and restrictions that treats workers as children. Sometimes it’s with fear. Sometimes it’s pushing and pushing to get the most productivity while using the proper catch phrases mentioned above. Usually it’s a combination of the aforementioned.

            Again, if this is your management style you should walk away. Any success you have today will be short-lived. Why? Because people will only subject themselves to that kind of environment for as long as they see no other options. When they see a way out they’ll take it. Eventually, you’ll run out of people to choose from.

            The other style of management is leadership. This is a completely different paradigm shift from what we’ve been talking about. A leader sees people as human beings. Their labor is an asset but that labor is a small part of the employee. Not only does a leader know the people s/he is directly responsible for but understands where they are.

            A leader builds confidence in the individuals s/he manages. A confident, self-assured workforce is hugely productive as a byproduct. Production as an end will not work. An employee, no matter what his or her position within a company, needs to feel valued for the work they do and as a person. This cannot be faked. As a leader you either care or you don’t.

            A leader knows the importance of physical, spiritual and mental development. From the top down attention to these three areas is modeled and encouraged. A leader that values these areas is a person working toward balance. The striving for balance changes one’s outlook and that change is visible to all around…above and below. When, as an individual, you move closer to balance you want to share it. Every step closer to personal balance is a step closer to our true nature. One naturally wants to get more of that feeling…and it’s contagious.

            A true leader tries to elevate the people s/he leads. I have watched many managers over the years that were insecure and threatened by educated, confident employees. A leader sees such a workforce as a blessing. There’s a synergy to this kind of environment. Each person feels valued and brings that value with confidence to the table. The different ideas and strengths bring changes and ideas that one person cannot come up with alone.

            Look, I’ve been in and out of management for close to two decades. I have worked under both managers and leaders and I know how I work best. In that time I have strived to lead, and not manage. I have seen the fruits in that as well. If you are a leader, or want to be then dig in today. Start working on your three key areas and see others as the same multi-faceted people.

            Ultimately, how you look at your employees is a reflection of how you see yourself. If you’re not sure which camp you fall into then set aside some quiet time and take that long, quiet look in the mirror. Then, act accordingly…

 

 

           

The Journey to Manhood

I was thinking tonight about my sons. I was thinking about what precious little time I have left with them as they seem to be growing so fast. I was also feeling guilty about the fact that for the first time in a decade my wife and I have full time jobs at the same time. This cuts way down on my time with the kids. I was feeling like a guy failing his children by not giving them the tools they need to make the transition into manhood.

An image popped into my head of a kid with a pack over his shoulder walking down a dirt path through the woods. In my vision every several steps a man would step forward and give something to the kid. After examing the new object the kid would then put it in the appropriate place in his pack and continue on.

This scene is how I see the path to manhood. As a boy takes this journey he comes into contact with several men. There his dad, uncles, grandpas, coaches, teachers, pastors and friends of parents. Well, you get the idea. The point is each man that comes into contact with this child gives something to him. It doesn’t matter if the man was a coach for a season or guy at the movie theater ticket booth.

Sometimes what the boy receives helps him on his journey. It’s a useful thing. Perhaps a nugget of wisdom or a funny story to lighten his load. Other times what is given is burdensom and weights the traveler down. The choise of what the boys receives is up to the giver. And, as I mentioned, the giver is all of us.

Here I see tremendous opportunity. I obviously feel it strongly for my own kids but it is also true for any boy I come into contact with. That is the opportunity to impart something that will help the traveler on his journey. If I have my wits about me when the moment presents I can share something that will be of some use. If I am wrapped up in my daily worry or mood I can burden that child needlessly.

I am truly blessed with the children I have. Each talented and gifted and amazing in his own unique way. But the gifts my kids were given by God aren’t enough. I have to do my part. I have to constantly meet them on their journey and be prepared to give something of value. The consequences of not being ready for that moment can be quite damaging. Remember, you give something every single time.

I am encouraged by this scene playing in my mind. It gives me direction and a bit more focus. It helps me remember what an honor I have been given by being a parent. It reminds me that when I see a nephew or the child of a friend or a boy on my soccer team my chance is that moment and it is gone in a flash. Whether he’s kind, quiet, cranky or obnoxious that kid is on a journey.  I can either lighten his load or burden him…

Never Give Up…a Very Real Story

                In 1989 I watched An Innocent Man. I wasn’t much for prison movies but Tom Selleck was the star of this particular flick and, in the end, he was ultimately vindicated. The plot of the movie, however, touched on a deep fear I had then and carry to this day. Selleck’s character was a great guy who was wrongly imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit.

                The idea of being locked up in prison for a day or a hundred years sends shivers down my spine. With the advances in DNA technology and forensics we’re finding more and more people in prison, some on death row that are not guilty of the crimes they are charged with.

                Someone should tell Texas about that. But, that’s for another column.

                The other day I was driving home and listening to the radio. They were doing a story about a man that made his professional boxing debut in October of 2011. His name is Dewey Bozella. The fact that Bozella was 53-years-old when he made his professional debut is enough to take notice of. The story that led up to that fight, which he won, is even more amazing.

                Now hold on. We’re getting to the meat and potatoes.

                See, before competing as a professional boxer Dewey Bozella had spent 26 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. He was alleged to have murdered a 92-year-old woman when he was 18. He lost his court battle in 1983 and was sentenced to 20 years to life in Sing Sing.

                Bozella always maintained his innocence. On different occasions the parole board offered him release (parole) if he would admit guilt. He refused. For Dewey, the prospect of spending the rest of his life being known as the man that brutally murdered an elderly woman was worse than the bars and concrete.

                After the first couple of years in prison he was befriended by a man who told the young Dewey he could better himself through education. While boxing and eventually becoming the prison’s light heavyweight champ Dewey found time to study. He earned a Bachelor’s degree,  Master’s degree and 52 different certificates…many in the trades.

                Dewey was growing as a man. He spent his youth and early middle age in an unwarranted hell few of us can imagine and yet he persevered. Some would argue he excelled.

                Over this time Bozella continued to work for his freedom. After a few organizations came up empty a group of lawyers found that crucial evidence had been suppressed by the prosecutor. This evidence proved his innocence and so in October of 2009 Dewey Bozella was released from Sing Sing Correctional Facility. He was now well educated, free and past his boxing prime.

                Bozella began working with kids at a local boxing gym. In 2011 he was awarded the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at ESPN’s ESPY Award show. A few months later his dream of a professional bout came true. In a unanimous decision Bozella defeated Larry Hopkins.

                What struck me about this man’s story is he never lost hope. I know a lot of people whose dreams have been bumped off course by one thing or another. I have heard many people tell me they are now too old to light a fire under their old dreams. I think of how hard it is sometimes to believe it isn’t too late and that character and strength is found in perseverance.

                Some days I struggle to stay on course and just deal with life’s curves as a part of the journey.

                Then I think of Dewey.

When Hope is Lost

                I am often amazed at the confluence of events that, if we’re paying attention, show connective threads in the events in our lives. As I practice more and more the idea of calm I find these moments come with greater and greater frequency. Such a series came together tonight while watching a video trailer sent to me by friend and a pastor. But we’ll get more into that shortly.

                To truly appreciate how I arrived at the state of mind that placed me at my keyboard tonight I need to back up a few weeks and work up to today.

                For a long time I have thought about what the Bible calls “the least of these”.  I think about the people in the inner city, Appalachia, Africa and even suburban America. I see violence every night I turn on the news. I see overpaid entertainers and athletes splattered on the news stand and I see lost children roaming the streets in the hood and the gated community.

                It occurred to me at one point that much of the aforementioned ills stem from a loss of hope. I didn’t have a depth of thought or understanding about that or what it meant exactly but I knew there was a connection.

                Enter a couple of weeks ago. I was at a cookout at my relative’s house. Lots of aunts, uncles and cousins roaming around. One of the uncles, a man we all refer to as Uncle Sandman, was sitting with me on the back patio. Sandman is a minister and a community leader in Indianapolis. He has given time to work with inner city kids for decades.

                When discussing the kids he sees and has seen he shared something interesting with me. During a conversation with one young man he said, “Look, you have a chance to get out of here and do something with your life.”

                “I don’t care about that,” responded the kid. “I don’t want to go anywhere and it don’t matter anyway.”

                Why? The kid had no hope. According to Uncle Sandman this kid, like so many in the inner city, had watched those around him work the welfare system and the drug and sex trafficking system and defaulted to a “this is life” state of mind. There was no reason to change because there was no hope anything could change.  

This was troubling to me…and still is. The question that comes to mind is how do you give someone hope that is in that state of mind?

Then I watched a movie based on the life story of Sirr Parker. This young man raised his younger brother, lived in and out of shelters, was abandoned by an alcoholic mother and still graduated from high school with an almost perfect GPA and no rap sheet. He had hope, though he questioned it at times. His hope came through people that believed in him and reached out to help him.

The next day a pastor from my church and a friend sent me a link to a video trailer for “Appalachian Dawn”. This is the story of a small town in Eastern Kentucky that had a revival amidst drugs, alcohol and violence. It was a moving video and I am looking forward to seeing the entire picture. At one point in the video they are showing how bad it had gotten and it suddenly hit me.

These people had lost hope. Many in the Appalachian region live in poverty rivaled only by Third World countries…and they’re in America. Poverty, no education, no prospects and no hope. Enter the predators. Drug dealers, alcohol and food. Not the nourishment food but the comfort food that makes you gain empty weight.

Sound like the inner city kids? IT should because it ain’t all that different.

Another reason for many of these kids to lose hope is that they see sports figures, musicians and actors making millions of dollars. Now thanks to the advent of “reality TV” we have folks who are rich and famous for absolutely no reason. Becoming a highly paid entertainer is not that different from winning the lottery. If that’s who you look up to then where does the hope come from?

So what do we do?

We do what we can. I am back in college to become a teacher in the inner city in Indianapolis and my wife and I plan to do short term mission trips into the Appalachian region. I will begin praying with more intensity on what of my gifts God can use in these areas.

I have ideas. I just don’t know what to do with them yet.

I have a friend from high school named Bill. He and his wife are doing something about it that deepens my respect for him. They have signed up for and are on a five year mission trip in Africa. There they are teaching folks how to start micro businesses. This could work in Appalachia and the inner city. More on that in another column.

The point is we all have something we can do to help restore hope in the ones around us who have lost it and the children of this world who desperately need it. What your particular gift is I don’t know but I do know whatever your gift or gifts are somewhere someone can gain hope from your sharing.

 

 

A Day for Fathers

As I write this Father’s Day is tomorrow. Call it a Father’s Day Eve reflection I suppose. I have a father. I am a father. I know many fathers. Last week I was at a pastors and church leader’s convention that focused largely on fathering the next generation. So, it seems like a good time to talk about fatherhood.

                First a bit of history…

                The inaugural Father’s Day celebration took place in Fairmont, WV on July 5, 1908. Grace Golden Clayton organized the event to honor the 210 fathers that had died Monongah, WV a few months earlier in a mining disaster. This was also the first year of Mother’s Day, which no doubt had some influence on the idea.

                In the more than one hundred years since that first celebration of dads many countries around the world have come on board. They all don’t celebrate it on the same day but it is a well recognized day world-wide. It has become marketing fodder for cards, neck ties, grills and soap-on-a-rope in the past couple of decades but that’s not really the point.

                We have also watched a couple of decades worth of TV shows depicting dads a the butt of every joke. Watch a sitcom or many commercials. Dads are idiots. They are seemingly oblivious to what their wise kids know. They are wrong when their wife is right. They break things, forget things and are often encouraged to stay out of the way.

                This media bombardment has set the standard for a generation of fathers that have no idea what their role is. They largely misunderstand masculinity as a concept and certainly have trouble passing it on to the next generation of boys. I am, by the way, included in that batch.

                Oh sure, I do the best I can…I think. I spend time with my kids; try to teach them what I believe while encouraging them to think for themselves. I coach little league, read to them, help with homework and make myself available to answer questions. Am I doing it right? I don’t know. I guess we’ll see.

                What I do know is that there is no more important job I will ever have in this life.

                Dr. James Dobson, in his book Bringing Up Boys, says, “Now, more than ever, boys are experiencing a crisis of confidence that reaches deep within the soul. Many of them are growing up believing they are unloved by their parents and are hated or disrespected by their peers.”

                So maybe this Father’s Day should serve as a time to refocus as dads. What are we doing for our kids? I don’t mean cloths, food, housing, coaching, etc. I mean what are we doing to raise our boys into men and our girls into ladies?

                This question is valid whether you’re married or divorced. It doesn’t matter if your child is a toddler or a teen. If you are reading this and you are a dad then it’s your question and it’s for you alone to answer.

                That said, the job is not yours alone to do. Being a father requires strength, caring, wisdom, direction, faith and patience. It also requires the support of other men in your life as well as the child’s mother. Mine is a generation of largely lost men. The movie Fight Club is really about that sad but true fact. But it doesn’t mean all is lost.

                My pastor is fond of reminding me that the Holy Spirit works in today. That means that today all things can be new. What’s more, today is all we have to make a difference in the lives of our children. But whether it’s Father’s Day or Thanksgiving or a random Tuesday it doesn’t really matter. It’s today. You’re a father and somewhere there’s a kid or collection of kids that need you.

                Of all the things swirling around in my head after writing this one thought stands out more than any. Jesus said that we should love one another the way he loves us. That’s a sacrificial love. That’s a love that is totally about the other person and not us. That means above all else, fathers, remember to love your children first and foremost. There is no greater gift.

Soccer in America

I am admittedly a lover of the game known in the USA as soccer. From the first time I played as a kid something just clicked. The sport made perfect sense to an overly energetic pre-teen. So I played every season and chance I got. After one year of varsity football as a sophomore I declined to play again…opting instead for the thrill of Center Halfback on the world football field.

                When I became a parent I hoped first for healthy children and secondly for soccer players. I thank the Lord every single day I have the first but have patiently waited for years for the second. After several bad little league experiences in various sports as a child I vowed to never be the dad that pushed his kids into this sport or that. So I let the kids play what they wanted. I coached what they played.

                In the beginning my boys played soccer as little kids. This variety of soccer is often called “bee hive” soccer as the kids from both teams congregate around the ball and follow said ball in a sort of swarm around the field. That was fun to watch but not really soccer. Then this year it happened. My nine-year-old decided he wanted to play soccer. YES! I immediately signed up to be a U10 head coach.

                We are now at the tail end of that soccer season. My team has developed well this season and we are one of the only teams I have watched that actually plays position soccer. For me and my assistant coach, who is also a friend of mine, this is a realization of a goal. We wanted to teach the kids to play soccer. To the best of our ability we did just that.

                But here’s the problem. At the first game I was having a conversation with another parent who said, “Soccer’s the sport for kids who don’t play sports.”

                This was a bothersome statement. It was also a true statement.

                When I was a player soccer was the other sport. I grew up in a small town in Indiana. Sports here were basketball and football. The president of the local little league sports group during the early 1980s is fond of reminding me that he didn’t think soccer would catch on. It did. And when we see each other these days (about once a week) I remind him of that fact. Unfortunately it didn’t become a sanctioned high school sport until the year after I graduated.

                Indeed this year our spring soccer program has over 500 players through all age groups. We also have a fall season coming up that will boast about the same numbers. But why do those numbers steadily decline as the kids get older? Why is it by the time we’re fielding high school teams we’re average school teams facing average schools teams?

                From where I sit I see the top-tier athletes going to basketball, football and baseball.  I guess even at the high school level soccer is the other sport. Part of the reason for this is that parents of my generation still largely lean towards the “big three” sports of football, basketball and baseball. It is understandable. We often gravitate toward what we know. Another reason is organization.

                My 11-year-old grew up in Central Indiana during the Age of Manning. He doesn’t know the time when the Colts stunk on ice. He only knows the 11-wins-per-season Colts and, like most of our fair city Indianapolis, he’s a football fan. I am too. But the point is he is an American football player. As a result I took him to a meet-and-greet with the high school football staff in the late fall. The meeting was for parents and players that would be entering the 7^th grade football program.

                The evening’s presentation was done quite well. It was professional, engaging and informative. The way it was put on made the high school program look great. I’m sure that it is. By comparison, the men’s high school soccer program is just getting to know the new head coach. There is no program. There is no introduction. Most importantly there is no continuity between the youth leagues and the high school club.

                I coached against another U10 coach that happened to be from England this season. As we bantered and joked about the game we were both watching he made a comment that has haunted me. He said, “You know what the rest of the world fears? That Americans will someday catch on with football.”

                He went on to say that we dominate every sport we embrace. He’s right. We do. I truly hope it happens with soccer here in America and I really hope I am still around to see it when it does. When we start attracting the first string wide receivers, corner backs, point guards and short stops our sport will elevate so fast we’ll struggle to catch up.

                Until then I will coach soccer where I can and remember the words of my assistant coach who, when talking about the appeal of soccer, said, “Over five billion people can’t be wrong.”

The Smallness of Little League

                Once again I started this month’s dribble on a different subject than we ended up on. Recently I have been compelled by events that simply cannot go ignored. These events do not involve the uprisings in the Middle East, Obama’s presidency, the NFL strike or the weather. Yet, they are events that will help (or hinder) the shaping of the next generation of Americans.

                The subject that would not let me go is Little League sports and the state thereof.

                Let me preface by saying I played soccer, basketball, baseball and football in little league systems as a child. Now a father, I have coached the aforementioned sports for over nine years. This Spring I am coaching a U10 soccer team as well as a coach on a major league baseball team. Prior to the beginning of my volunteer coaching career I was also a sports editor for a county newspaper.

                I’ve seen this thing from every angle.

                After all of these years of playing, coaching and covering I have noticed one issue that simply doesn’t get the attention it deserves. That is the simple fact that little league sports is about the kids. Oh sure, we give it lip service. We have it in paperwork, coaches meetings and players meetings. But is it really true?

                The young people that participate in little league sports should walk away with an understanding of sportsmanship, a joy for the game, some skills in that particular game, how to work as a team and, hopefully, a lifetime enjoyment for sports. They should also see fairness and kindness in action.

                I suppose these lofty goals would be attainable if not for a small group of coaches and parents that try to turn it into something else. If you participated in team sports as a child or have children participating now then you already know what I’m talking about. Perhaps you’ve thought the very things I am writing now.

                Now, if you’re one of the parents that think your kid is special he is…just like everyone else. If you believe your child has the potential to find employment some day as a professional athlete then I would say sock some money away for retirement just in case. The statistics suggest the vast majority of kids in youth sports programs won’t get a scholarship to play a sport in college…much less make it to the NFL, WNBA or FIFA.

                The purpose of youth sports, as I said before, is far from professional athlete development. I would further suggest that it’s not even about a given parent or coach living vicariously through their son or daughter; desperately trying to replace the sports career they never had. See, it’s about the kids.

                Over the years I have watched as coaches/parents have ruined a season for an entire team so their boy could be quarterback. I have watched kids on the mound that couldn’t hit water if they fell out of a boat. I have talked to kids who have witnessed the same. I wonder what we are really teaching them. Is it sportsmanship? Is it respect? How about teamwork? I have to say no to all. What we are teaching them instead is that the people in charge make decisions that are based on self-interest. If you know the right people you can get away with anything.

                Kids have enough pressure and outside influence in their lives today. They are bombarded all day long with images, ideas and words we couldn’t have imagined at that age. They are becoming hardened at an alarming rate today. The baseball diamond (or other sports venue) on a sunny day in May should be the one place all of that goes away.

                For six innings those kids should be able to experience the joy of the game, the camaraderie of the guys on the team and the thrill of victory…as well as the pain of losing. The feeling of connecting the bat with a fast ball as it tingles up your arm, digging it out to first and rounding that bag…that’s the stuff of kid’s sports.

                So why do we ruin it?

                I don’t have the answers here today. But I do have a suggestion. If you are a parent or coach (or both) of a child in youth sports teach them the true heart of the game. If there are other coaches that are tainting the experience then seek the council of the board that governs coaches and the league. If that doesn’t work then grab some like-minded parents and coaches and get on that board. In that way you can influence those allowed the privilege of coaching and set the tone for the entire league.

                Remember above all else they are kids. They will absolutely take life lessons from the youth sports they participate in. The cool thing is we get to help influence what those lessons are. Which lessons will you choose?